I was in Las Vegas this past weekend, I've always been a fan of Las Vegas. The lights, the action, the people. People seem to lose all inhibitions in Las Vegas.
While walking through the food court at the Monte Carlo I saw a transvestite and a midget. I know midget is not politically correct, but I don't like little the phrase "little people" either. They seemed to be quite a happy couple walking around large hand in disproportionately large hand. It was kind of sweet. Though the more I thought about it the more questions arise. Such as, Where did they meet? Was it a party? If so then who throws this kind of party? How do I get an invitation? I could have three months worth of material if they let me in. Who pays? Do they go dutch? Who is the earner in the relationship? Who stays home and feeds their cats and pet iguana while these two trot around the food court holding hands and humming show tunes? Who writes the checks and who does the laundry? Have they exchanged vows yet? Are they still at the honeymoon phase of their relationship? If not, how do they keep straight faces during their fights?
I also met a fifty-something cougar who told me that she could do things to me that would make my head spin? I did not take her up on the offer, because, well, I am not into chasing cougars and besides a grey wig (I'm sure she was bald) would not look good beside my night stand. She also got many questions running through my head, like.... How many guys has she actually picked up with the head spin line? How old is too old? When the fuck did I start considering sleeping with women older than my parents? Why me? I am about as hot as the temp ambient temperature in Cody Wyoming in late January.
On my flight back to Denver tonight, I was seated across the aisle from a Hindu family, who had been out to Vegas to protest the National Finals Rodeo. They were feeling spunky and when the cowboys in the front started singing "Viva Viagra" they started cussing them. I immediately took this as an opportunity to instigate a bit, and asked them how the rodeo was. They said it was good they stood outside with signs protesting. I then noticed the most amazing thing while the elderly Hindu gentleman was explaining to me about the cows and sacred and god only knows what else, (I tuned him out after a while) he had on leather shoes. I repeat, leather fucking shoes. He had just spent a good twenty minutes explaining to me about the sacred cow and he is wearing their fucking skins on his feet. I started a fit of uncontrollable giggles and he explained that the sales man told him that the cows had died of natural causes. I can't even say anymore. It says it all. Bless that salesman's heart, because if the Hindu religion is right he has an executive position waiting for him in hell, though you have to give him credit, he must be good. I asked what store and he simply replied "Shoes for less of course." How could I have not known?
So much more to say, but... It is 1:09 Am and I have work to do tomorrow.
