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January 2008

January 27, 2008

Hmm...

I was in Boise Idaho a couple of weeks ago for a get together with some other white bread friends of mine.  What?  Normally I don't talk like that.  Well, spend a day in your wayback machine (I use Southwest Airlines but any that fly there work) folks, strap in and relax because Boise Idaho is still living in the 1950's.  It was fucking amazing.

I know why Larry Craig tapped his foot in the Minneapolis bathroom stall, he was hoping to conjure up a black person, there are none in his homestate.

While I was there, a right to life protest was going on downtown, so I quickly parked and joined the protest, I have not seen that many white headed men since Mitt Romney held a fund raiser at the Boston Masonic Lodge.  It was unreal, during my talking to protesters who think that they, old white fat bald men in Boise, know what to do with a women's body I saw an amazing sign.  It stated as follows.

"Martin Luther King was an idiat."

I had to talk to this specimen, so I approached him.  I asked him if he had the right rally, he said "Oh yeah I do brother." I asked how the two were related, he told me that he was a member of Boise KKK and started talking about the Jena 6.  I knew I had a winner.

I am all for the constitution, freedom of speech is important, but this guy can not even spell idiot.  What are their 7 black people in Boise?  What do the Boise KKK agendas look like?  How can a racist biggot like this be allowed to represent the people of Boise?  Here is a mock Boise KKK agenda.

1. Get the Johnson's

2. ?????

I repeat fucking people are amazing. I am officially appalled.

January 17, 2008

I have sunk to a new low....

Last month between Christmas and New Years I believe that I had a complete breakdown and lost all my sense.  So, what happened?  I got into some menus on my cell phone and found one called "chat and dating" under that I found some service that porported to be free, or at least free to join.... and met enough lonely girls or people that claimed to be girls, to run up $573.00 in chatting at $.50 a piece,  you can tell how fucking pathetic I am. 

I must need to find a girl with self esteem issues that would give me the time of day at least for a week or two.

January 09, 2008

Presidential Candidates

Who is the best?

Obama

Clinton

McCain

Huckaby

Romney

How I blew my wad is not a political website, but politics seems to be in the news a lot right now so, I plan on dissecting each of these candidates and...

Keeping my opinion to myself.  If anyone actually cared what I thought, I would not be doing gigs in comedy clubs for a couple of hundred dollars.  I would be pontificating my views to people throughout wider mediams.  So, uh yea, thats all I am going to say about that.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program of terrible loneliness, prostitution and text messaging.

Tomorrow or Friday I will tell a story of such sadness that all of you must loff and loff.

January 04, 2008

The thing about me....

Is that I really am a decent guy, though it is covered up by my strange obsessions and willingness to tell everyone everything. 

Example -

I met a girl the other day, she was nice enough but had a chili bowl haircut which I was sure went out of style in 1989, but anyway... I for some reason felt the need to relate to her that when I was in kindergarten I had went to school with a chili bowl haircut and after I saw that and looked at my dick I found an uncanny resemblance.  So, my dick has been known as Theresa ever since because of something that I saw years ago.  My strange obsessive mind actually went ahead and changed my cock's last name to Smith a couple of years ago, because I was sure that Theresa had gotten married to some gent by now and since I did not know her new last name I went generic. I thought that it was a sweet enough story, yet it seemed to get a lukewarm reception from her.

Why did I feel the need to tell this woman that I had just met in a hotel lobby such things about myself?   

How I blew my wad... Tonight.

I haven't. Though if I did it wouldn't have been in an Asian massage parlor and my wallet wouldn't feel so light. 

I do enjoy a women that speaks no English.

Post Iowa Redux Quote

"I don't drink, but I like girls who do."
Jim Norton

The desperate guy....

Edited by me....

Restraint of tongue and pen includes e-mail and stupid blog posts I guess.