To: Jesse
From: K.
Hey, What would you say to me if the first time that we met was at a business luncheon?
MY REPLY -
To: K.
From: Jesse
Conference Lunch -
"Hi my name is Jesse ironically my job is one where I get paid well to talk to people yet I really don't like people, but because I am a money whore I do it and pretend that I love people. I also spend between 150 and 200 nights per year in hotels and can attest to the fact that the so called raters from hotels.com either smoke really good hashish and feel charitable before offering their ratings or are getting payola."
Then when you turn away in disgust -
"Sorry I was so strange earlier it is not often that I get to sit next to someone that knows more about the arts than some museum curators and I might've been a bit nervous. My only expertise that I can tell you about is spotting transvestites and industrial construction."
Yes I can be a silly goose at times, spotting trannys can be difficult unless you happen into the situation in which I did earlier this evening in a Denver hotel. I was joined by four 6' tall men in bad wigs that kept calling me daddy in the elevator. They got off then I was joined by the University of Diluth Hockey cheerleaders - at both times I truly felt emasculated - either of these groups had any number of women / men that could have seriously hurt me.
How is that for banter? Yes, it is true, the truth is far better than fiction that I could write.
HER REPLY
To: Jesse
From K.
Well, I'm glad I picked the right "scenerio" for our conversation. That is quite some witty banter. I think my response, after a good laugh, would be something like, how sad it is that you live out of hotels. I agree, they are never good. And I don't think any amount of money could entice me into that lifestyle. I would ask you whether you get a chance to really experience life bouncing from city to city, day to day.
But I would never turn away in disgust. I would just wonder silently how you manage... and then figure that some people prefer such a life. And also I'd wonder if you were presenting such a bleak picture for entertainment value.
MY REPLY
To: K.
From: Jesse
Greetings from the always vivacious city of Tulsa Oklahoma - The only city in the western hemisphere where Subway restaurants close at 7 pm.
It really is not as sad as most people would like to make the hotel lifestyle. I love it 99 nights out of 100 - Last night was kind of the exception. The hotel turned out to be fine, the transgendered people and I had a toast, them drinking champagne me drinking water in the elevator about "life being too short not to be who you are... etc." I then went to my room securely fastened my deadbolt took a melatonin and dreamed of the days when my dignity was still intact...
Do you think that it is ironic that O.J. Simpson robbed people in Las Vegas for memorabilia with his own signature on it? Did he not realize that all he had to do was, well sign more stuff?
Are you a fan of the electric toothbrush? I don't like them I LOVE them.
Sleep Well,
Jess
(Of course I did not straight copy and paste these things on, because, well I wanted to keep the saucier stuff out of this and also protect her e-mail from my two loyal readers - you two can be a bit hooliganesque. How you like them apples?)
No, I have not met her... She is the semi-hot seemingly desperate big sister of one of my direlect friends who e-mailed me a while back when I said something extremely rude on a reply to all.
Dear Jesse,
How do we know that K is semi-hot if we've never seen her?
I am feeling a little bit sad after reading some of these posts. What the hell is going on for you just now?
Penny
Posted by: Mama Penny | May 06, 2008 at 06:36 PM
Hi Penny!
Well, Jesse? Some of us who do continue to love you from afar are still listening....
Posted by: JulieB | June 08, 2008 at 10:57 PM